What Do Cowboys and Horses Have to Do With Parenting?
What do Cowboys and Horses have to do with Parenting?
Have you heard of the television series called Yellowstone? It’s set in stunning Bozeman, Montana and follows the Dutton family who own and operate Yellowstone ranch.
Kevin Costner plays John Dutton, the patriarch of the family. In the first episode, John is leaning on a fence watching his son Kayce train a new horse. As the horse gallops around the dusty ring you hear Kayce quietly encouraging the horse saying,
”that’s it, come on buddy."
After a minute or so the horse slows down and Kayce walks over to him. The elder Dutton, shares with his son his experience training horses. He states,
“if you manage to break his spirit he will serve you better.”
Kayce replies,
“he will serve him just fine with his spirit intact”.
This scene does a wonderful job of not only capturing the two philosophies of horse training, but also foreshadows the dynamic of their relationship as parent and child.
I spent many of my younger years working at a local barn and every day after school I would muck stalls, fill water buckets, groom, tack, untack, and ride. I learned how to care for horses but also learned the interplay between spirit and energy. During those years I saw hundreds of people come to ride. Like John Dutton, many folks came to the barn with the intent to be the boss and dominate the horse to their will. There were also many would come to ride open, curious and willing to learn from the horse. What’s the parallel?
At the risk of oversimplifying, how we parent really boils down to how aware we are of our own energy and whether we are parenting from a place of love, trust and abundance or fear, control and scarcity.
When we come from a place of love we encourage our kids to be who they are, and nurture their spirit. When we come from a place of fear, we try to contort our kids into who we want or think they should be.
Our children’s spirit came to the world perfect and complete. The energy that we meet them with, that is up to us.
If you are a parent who wants more freedom and ease in your relationship with your child, I’d love to be your guide.
